A number of you are without question asking yourselves, "What did Ben do on VD10?" First, thanks for asking, second, hold on to your seats, because I'm 'bout to throw down. This very evening, I caught the prime-time showing of the high-budget film, "Valentines Day," and sat in the back of the theater, weeping loudly, between sobs exclaiming with deep anguish, "I'm so lonely," and, "If only I were wealthy," hoping that the happy couples around me would feel one of several emotions: happiness in their own securities as couples; guilt for their glee, while others CLEARLY suffer alone; complete insensitivity and apathy towards others; fear that the female half of their couples would gravitate towards the attractive gent making the noise in the back of the theater; or, finally, extreme discomfort and antipathy about the entire situation.
The above paragraph is not true, although I do wish it were. Rather, in honor of VD, I gave blood yesterday (perhaps those of you who are stalking me more fervently and feel the need to possess some of my blood, you have a chance). Today began with some exercise, followed by a heavy breakfast of swedish pancakes stacked to the rafters. Then I worked on my car and went to work from 3:30 to 7:30. So, that's how it went.
However, I finished the evening with pizza. So, if you felt inclined to give me your pity, I ask only that you remember that an evening with pizza is pretty darn close to romance for me (, ladies).
"Shot to the heart and you're to blame."
- John Francis Bongiovi, Jr., thin, screeching long haired son of a marine hairdresser.
Be serious Ben, there are any number of young ladies in our church who would drop down dead if you invited them out. Of course, then you could truly be liable for that elusive felony... but I digress. Love you!
ReplyDeleteI agree. An evening ending with pizza is pretty darn close.
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