Following what is arguably the best introduction to a post ever, allow me to attack one of the major problems today: which way do you pass the food? Now, people will tell you different things, but the most agreed upon direction is to the right (or counterclockwise, as the resident horologist likes to say). I have no beef (literal or otherwise) with the passing of food starboard, but I do think that we need to set in stone the rule, because there are few things that are as awful as that panic when you have two dishes in your hands, each headed in a different direction, and no way to serve yourself food. My hope is that someday, probably about 20 (if I'm being pessimistic, which I am) years in the future, when our children have become too dumb to fend for themselves, this will come in handy. Take, for example, this scenario: Little Billy has discovered an ancient relic, in pieces, known by historians as an "analog clock." Now, nobody has seen one of these in use, and, really, humanity's understanding of time as a useful tool has slipped to the same level as our being able to ever rationalize the purchase of a cinnabon prior to an airplane ride or a local Shakespeare festival in the middle section of our country; this being said, Little Billy has an extraordinary drive to accomplish something in which others his age are uninterested (probably due to the fact that his parents did not "spare the rod"). He decides he will attempt to recreate the analog clock in its full functioning capacity. He listens not to the whining masses about the possible implications a working clock has on the poor icebergs; rather, he works harder than ever to find out all he can about how to reconstruct the clock. Eventually, after the clock is completely rebuilt and refurbished, before it is wound, the philosophers and even individuals in the useful branches of science will ponder aloud, "I wonder in which direction the 'hands' of the 'clock' will travel?" And at that time, if all goes well, Little Billy will respond, with a certain sense of entitlement, "Counterplatewise."
That story was long and possibly worth it.
"The biggest misconception people have about me is that I'm stupid."
-William Michael Albert Broad, or Billy Idol, hard-rocking rock star who liked to rock hard and live life to the fullest. Rock. Hard. Oh, and he was blonde. Tight shirts? Yeah, he's a fan.
Of course the hands go counterplatewise. How else would they go? As to your opening question, that would have been back when George Harrison ruled the Indian instrument.
ReplyDelete