another one?

Yesterday evening, and I'm not trying to brag, I dined at a Mexican restaurant (I enjoy the foods of other cultures. I'm very ["very" is a tad strong] open-minded.) Near the close of my meal, I heard from the booth behind me, which was at the time supporting a family of four, a strange phrase which one does not very often hear. The father said to the two young daughters (aged two and four by my estimation; I wasn't checking I.D.'s or anything), and I quote, "Stop strangling each other." So, that goes a little way to tell you how my evening took a delightful turn for the more interesting.

I don't have any main topic about which I would like to write today, but I figure somebody might read today's post and have something resonate with them, so here goes:

In advertisements for beer companies, many corporations seem to stress how "cold" their beer is, that it is in fact the "coldest" beer on the market. But isn't that more up to the consumer? They are the ones doing the refrigerating, so I think that is a moot point in advertisements. Also, beer companies are embracing the color-changing packaging, what tells the consumer when their beer is cold. I have a theory on this: if you cannot FEEL the coldness of your beverage with your appendages, PERHAPS YOU SHOULD TAKE A BREAK FROM THE ALCOHOL.

Who is the most unsettlingly creepy individual in a television advertisement? I have heard votes for "Flo" from the Progressive insurance commercials, however I maintain, as have others, that the title of world-class ad creeper belongs to the guy in the Taco Bell commercials who will only have his order taken from "Denise." If you haven't seen this commercial, look it up on youtube. This guy gives me shivering reactions usually reserved for witnessing the birthing process.

On the same topic of television ad personalities, I have come up with a short list of unlikable ones:

Luke Wilson, AT&T; I wish he would just go back to making movies that people don't watch.

Denis Leary, Ford; his voice and overall demeanor just rub me the wrong way.

On the other hand, the commercial with Biz Markie is sublime; the part where Andy Milonakis kisses his helmet is strange, but I let it slide.

Why aren't depot and despot pronounced the same way?

Why can't advertisers say "Super Bowl" in their ads? They always say "the big game." That's unclear; what if their priorities are different from mine?

The Vespa is an example of something that causes mixed reactions. Whenever we see somebody driving one around, we laugh and chastise them for their clear social ignorance and apparent inability to relate to others; on the other hand, we all think it would be kind of fun to drive one around.

Why do awards for "hustle" and "good sportsmanship" still exist? In the good ol' days, the kids who were bad at sports accepted it and got good grades, leading to successful careers in the real world.

Why do modern-day sculptures seem to suck so much? During the renaissance, people made sculptures of people that were life-like; today it seems like it's just a bunch of phallic images constructed from stolen trash that people have welded together.

I work at a sporting goods retailer, and people often come to me while I am in the footwear department (department is a generous term) and ask me what's in style today. To which I respond, "I work at Big 5 and live with my parents." That does a pretty good job of stifling other questions that might ask for my judgment on their purchase choices.

Well, that's enough anger on virtual paper for today. Have a good weekend everybody. Chances are I miss you guys. Not all of you, but some of you for sure. (But seriously, not all of you)

". . . some call me the gangster of love. . . ."

-Steve Miller, self-proclaimed child-shoeing "Maurice," who plays his music in the sun, while receiving his loving on the run.